Life After Meth

by Zoey

My name is Zoey. I’m a 23-year-old transgender woman. I’ve been clean for about 90 days, and every day is a blessing when I look back at all the things I’ve been through.

I began drinking in high school because I felt misunderstood at home. Those sneaky little sips started it all. Feeling like I wasn’t a part of my family didn’t make it any better. I quickly found myself on a path of destruction, drinking with different people because I wanted to fit in. That led me to coke and meth. The first time I used meth, I was partying with some friends. I didn’t know much about meth, or the negative effect it was going to have on me. At that point in my life, it made me feel and look good, and it kept me awake to do the things I needed to do. Once I’d started using, though, it was very difficult to stop

Eventually, I had no energy and felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. I’d begun to lose everything—my family, my friends and my mind. I’d reached the point where I was living wherever I could lay my head.

I thought one day I would wake up and be able to just shake it all off, but that day never came. I felt like my will and motivation were being stolen. All I could think about was getting high.

My family put me into detox when I tried to kill myself. But I left after a few hours and immediately started using again. I later moved to Hollywood, where I began to prostitute myself for money and drugs. I was in and out of jail. I moved to Idaho so I could clean up my act, but after only six months there, my situation was even worse. So I moved back to Hollywood and shortly after got picked up for prostitution. I was truly scared because they were threatening me with some real time. I was stuck in jail for two months and then released to an inpatient rehab. Since then, I’ve remained clean and—to help me stay away from the lure of the drug—I’m going to the crystal meth support groups at the Jeff Griffith Youth Center. I now live at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center as a resident in the transitional living program so that I can get my life back on the right track.

Looking back, I can now see the consequences of my meth use. My life has changed for the better—I have a stable home and I’m looking for a job. It really was a blessing that God could bring me through.

I’m staying clean and working hard on improving my life because I want to be an example for other transgender women, and because I want to show other meth users that there is life after meth.