by Paul V.

Cher fans, rejoice! Just when you thought our gay godmother would fade away into retirement, she just announced her new show will be opening on May 6 at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. It's reported the extravaganza will be state of the art, and her whopping paycheck nearly matches her age — a cool $60 million. Cher also revealed she once dated a pre-Scientology-obsessed Tom Cruise in the '80s!

Another legendary singer, Patti Smith, is featured in a new, intimate documentary about her life and work. Patti Smith: Dream of Life shows the 61-year-old artist veer from reflective commentator who ruminates on politics, family and death, to intense performer who sheds tears and spits with rage on stage.

Kudos to John Mellencamp, who got to bitch-slap Republican presidential hopeful John McCain, who had been using a few of his songs at campaign rallies around the country. Mellencamp fired off an angry letter to the McCain camp, basically telling the pasty, old right-winger to cease and desist. Meanwhile, congrats to Barack Obama, who actually won the best spoken word Grammy Award—his second—for the audio-book version of his Audacity of Hope effort.

Note to Beyoncé: Girl, cover up those thighs and step off once in awhile. There was no need to try and upstage Tina Turner, ’cuz it ain’t possible! In case you missed it, Beyotché slammed down on Tina’s foot during their duet on the Grammy Awards and nearly ruined the finale of “Proud Mary.” And Miss Turner looked none too pleased.

Seeing Amy Winehouse and her stunning performance on the Grammy Awards proved to everyone just what a huge talent she is, and worth all five of the awards she took home that night. It’s reported that if she stays on the clean and sober track, she’ll be hired to write the theme song to the new James Bond film. Amy, you are amazing—when you’re clean. Your fans love you and want you to survive, so keep it going!