In the Father Hunger workshops, young gay men seek to unlock their hidden promise and chart a path to rewarding adulthood.

by Jonathan Higbee

It’s called Boystown for a reason. One look around West Hollywood and the meaning behind the neighborhood’s nickname is revealed: boys gathered at endless dance parties, short-lived relationships, widespread recreational use of party favors, frantic obsessions with body image — and that’s just the guys in their 40s. Noticeably missing from both the city and its nickname is a being that’s as rare as they come: the gay adult male. Without him, growing up as a gay male can be quite difficult.

“Many times people are baffled by what it means to be a gay adult because they don’t have the role models around them, so it’s almost as if you’re talking about a life form from a different planet,” says Dr. Don Kilhefner, psychotherapist and pioneer of the gay liberation movement. Ready to give support to young gay men lacking the encouragement of the elusive gay adult, Kilhefner’s successful Father Hunger workshop is right around the corner. As Kilhefner puts it, the workshop is “kind of like a roadmap,” which helps young gay men navigate the alien terrain of adulthood.

Psychologist and Father Hunger co-facilitator Dr. Omar Minwalla suggests that having positive masculine role models is fundamental to the health of the gay community. “It’s a very serious issue when few of us are helping each other grow up psychologically,” he says. The situation is bleak, but Minwalla’s tone grows optimistic when speaking of the workshop. “I can’t imagine any other place in West Hollywood where there’s a group of gay guys talking about what it means to develop psychologically as gay men,” he says.

Assisting Kilhefner and Minwalla in the workshop will be 2006 Father Hunger graduates Kevin Yoshida and Jerran Friedman. A testament to the workshop’s success, Friedman entered Father Hunger an unfulfilled waiter, but after graduating from the program, his path into adulthood became clearer. Friedman is now a second year Ph.D. student of psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute. It’s success stories like Friedman’s that help prove the program’s mettle. Participants who attend Father Hunger receive unparalleled support from co-facilitators in the form of readings, writings, discussions, mythology and ritual—all in the hopes of pointing the lost boys in the right direction. The methods may sound as mysterious as the gay adult male himself, but because they have been successfully employed in Kilhefner’s past workshops, participants have everything to gain.

For gay men in their 20s and 30s who find growing up gay perplexing, Father Hunger might help lead the way. Perhaps one day—a day that will be owed to the success of the workshop—young gay men will possess a roadmap showing the path that leads beyond Boystown. After all, Friedman found his path after Father Hunger. “The workshop started a process where I was able to take stock,” he says. “It gave me a kind of centeredness that I didn’t have before. That changes everything.”

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The Father Hunger workshop will take place eight consecutive Sundays beginning Sept. 28. The workshop will meet from 6-9 p.m. in the West Hollywood area. After the initial eight weeks, the group will meet monthly for a year. For more information or to register, contact Jerran Friedman at (323) 496-1844 or at JerranFriedman@yahoo.com