By Charles Karel Bouley II

I don't believe in mythology. But billions of people across the world do, and hey, to each his own. Eighty five percent of Americans claim to believe in mythology .. oops, I mean religion (same thing by definition, I know, I looked it up), and of those, millions are gay and lesbian.

The idea of a gay Christian has always amused me. It's an oxymoron, really, because Christianity is at the root of the debate over whether gays and lesbians are even people. Yet, many of my community fall in to the religious world and that's where the trouble begins.

You see, good, loving, caring disciples of God hate fags. I know, there's a Web site of the same name (perfectly legal, even though God hates Jews, God hates niggers or God hates spics dot com is not allowed as an acceptable domain by the Internet registry). And a majority of churches either don't accept gay people at all, or accept them and want to change them. Every "reparative therapy" organization is religious. And then there's the Catholics, but they're just a weird cult that says no gay marriage, no gay acceptance, but then turns around and protects pedophile priests.

So it always amuses me when gay Catholics, as a show of protest, show up at Mass in rainbow sashes and when they're refused Communion, they're surprised. Or when gays lobby for Lutherans, Protestants or others to change their policies about gays and lesbians, allow them in to the clergy, allow them to marry in the church or whatever equality these good followers of God are requesting of their mythology instructors.

But the problem is, religion was never about equality or fairness, and is seldom about God, or at least the real tenants of faith, the good ones, the love they neighbor, care for the sick, bring peace to the world ones. No, religion, which is a creation of man, follows a book written by man and yet claims to be the word of a god (I thought when people heard voices they put them on meds, but that's just me). And men are often cruel, seldom fair, and can be very single minded.

Yet, I come down on the side of the church here. I think gays and lesbians who try to change any religion to be more accepting, to give them more rights, are wasting their time and the church's. The Lutherans, according to an Aug. 12, 2005, Advocate.com story, just voted to maintain their ban on openly gay clergy (I guess they want them to hide it like the Catholics). OK queers, leave the poor Lutherans alone. They don't like you, and guess what, they have that right.

Because here's what gay people are missing. The church needs you more than you need it. Is not the supreme mythological being quoted as saying in that wonderful book of 2,000-year-old fables, "For there is one God, and one Mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus." -- I Tim. ii. 5. So doesn't that mean that the only deity, the only concern for faith that anyone needs is to talk to God or Christ? Screw what the guy at the pulpit is saying, he's just a pretender to the throne. And forget about councils of cardinals or other religious enclaves.

The fact is churches need money and bodies to survive. What would Jesus do, if one believes in that thing? I'll tell you. He'd tell the gays and lesbians to stop begging people who already are getting his teachings wrong by their bigotry and hatred for acceptance and go start your own church. That's what he did, isn't it? He would start his own ministry.

Many gays have done this. MCC and Christ Chapel come to mind. So why not just go there? Why keep pounding away at the different organizations to become more tolerant? Take your money and your energy elsewhere. Did Henry VIII bow to the pope? Nope. He beheaded his wife and started the Church of England when he wanted a divorce.

But gay people can't get over that people don't have to accept us. They simply don't. If churches want to discriminate based on nothing more than mythology, that's their right, as weird as it may be. What's it matter what building you're in, what name the religion carries? If you truly love the Lord, love he/she/it in a building that welcomes you for who you are, surrounded by people who care for you for who you are. Stop stomping your little Prada clad feet (or Kenny Cole for those on a budget, Nike for lesbians, of course), trying to break in to institutions that move at a snail's pace when it comes to change, and go make your own community of like-minded individuals. It's what Christ would have done, so why not you, his faithful follower?

Gays have always had a love/hate relationship with religion. Well, I always thought it was about the love. If your church doesn't love you completely, 100 percent as you are with no restrictions, don't try and change it. Drop it like a hot potato and find one that does. God won't care. Trust me, if there is one, he/she/it won't care about the moniker of your religion, be it Catholic or Lutheran, Protestant or Mormon. Get some pioneer spirit in you and go found your own place of worship. And discriminate against whomever you wish, it's your party, your religion, your god, your church.

One day we'll outgrow the need to look outside ourselves for validation, for structure, for acceptance and love. But until we do, stop trying to change 2,000-year-old bigotry. Religious organizations are not government, although don't tell them that, and as such have a right to say who can join in and who can't. And since all of it was created by man, why not do a better job at implementing it?

If you're gay and religious, you've got enough to reconcile and handle. You don't need to fight the very organization that should be there to comfort and support you, to help you and fulfill you, to offer you solace and peace.

People used to have mercury drilled in their heads as children, and they were called fillings. Now we avoid mercury even in fish, and yet, there it stands, in many of our mouths. Drilled in our heads as a child. Religion was drilled in our heads as children, and identification with a particular religious sect or cult was crucial to that indoctrination. But today, people have that mercury drilled out, replaced with a better, less toxic substance. It's time to drill out the remnants of religious identification within the gay community. Love your god, not your church if your church doesn't love you fully. Change your life, not an antiquated institution. Go where there's love and acceptance ready made, instead of jumping up and down and demanding to be recognized and loved by people too blind to see that they've missed the point of the religious teachings all together. Love yourself enough to have some self respect and have enough courage to say goodbye to institutions that don't serve your needs, and the bravery to start your own.

Say Amen, somebody.