By Dana Miller

Ch-Ch-Ch Changes ... The club scene is surely changing here in boyz town. In what may be the worst kept secret since the world discovered Rock was gay, we now know The Abbey has "basically" been sold. I know that sounds like a "little pregnant." Here's the deal: The Abbey is quite likely the most successful bar in the United States! Think on that! Finlandia Vodka tells me The Abbey is their biggest customer in the United States. Amazing, huh? ... Not the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas, Tavern on the Green in Central Park, nor Dodger Stadium! Nope its The Abbey. Entrepreneur David Cooley has turned his one-time dessert shop into a world-class watering hole. Holes of all types are world class at The Abbey, but that's another issue. Finlandia gave Dave buckets of cash to name his former clay pot annex the "Finlandia Ice Bar." A shrewd and clever marketing move, but how many of you knew that? (If it don't click with the customer, you must acquit). Cooley walks (yet stays) with between 15 and 20 million bucks, depending on whom you trust with tales, once the paperwork is done. He'll stick around to consult and open tons of Abbey-like joints in warm-weather places like Vegas, Austin, San Francisco and South Florida. Good for him. David is a class act. In my mind, he has always done the right thing. At least a couple bucks of those 11 dollar martinis you drank at The Abbey have always gone back into the community. I have asked David for charitable favors at least 100 times ... and the guy delivers 1,000 percent. He has never said "no." Amazing. I have no reason to tell you Cooley is cool except he is. I had a boyfriend once who said, "Never fall in love with a business. Ya build it up and sell it." David Cooley is the epitome of that logic.

The side deal with the Abbey sale is the Spike. I've always loved the dive joint. I think I fathered five kids there ... well, er, ah, um ... maybe not. But I could have if there was a uterus around. It was always an after-hours kinda place at 7746 Santa Monica Blvd. Ya didn't go to the Spike for "happy hour" or a "tea dance." It was all about late-night nonsense. A buddy I have known and cherished for a long time by the name of Scott Unger bought the Spike last year along with David Cooley. Scott calls me "Dana May" for no inexplicable reason. My friends drank shots out of Scott's belly button for charity at my home in Acapulco one year, but I digress. He, like Cooley, is a champ. Decent, caring fellow with a true soul. Hard to find nowadays for me. Fifteen years ago Scott was a successful commercial real estate guy in Santa Monica. He came forward and volunteered a week with me to help produce an AIDS benefit called Commitment To Life (CTL) at the suggestion of his pal Walter. Walter and Scott went on to build a huge company called GENEX. I had to be there at CTL, Walter and Scott didn't. ... Walter got his first blowjob at CTL. ... Scott had to go fetch my suit at a hotel. I love Walter and Scott. They were never bf's, just biz pals. Anyway, when Cooley made his deal to sell The Abbey there was naturally a non-compete clause. So Scott and David have had the Spike on the market. Sold once, fell outta escrow. Someone with a dark side needs to buy the Spike -- just to keep it pure. Either that, or someone with a willing uterus.

The Equality California awards and dinner took place last Saturday at the Beverly Hilton Hotel among the usual chaos and torment of our lives. I loved the dinner. Haven't seen so many bright, happy, in touch folks in months. Great cause, great leadership. People haven't spent that much on a plate in this town since the sale in housewares at Barney's. Brian Graden, the president of MTV Networks, was honored. Brian serves on the Elton John AIDS Foundation board with me. What a great speech! I met Brian back when he was at Fox TV in the '80s. I have no idea why, but when I first met him I had no clue he was gay. The gaydar was off that week I suppose. Anyway, Brian is a champ. True citizen of our community. He is charming and friendly and we are blessed to have him on our team.

I ran into West Hollywood Councilmember Jeffrey Prang at the awards dinner and totally unprovoked he said he agreed with me about my Gay Pride Parade issue. It so totally sucks and guess what? He's on our side. YEAH! Jeffrey always looks good. Lotions and potions I suspect rather than surgery. Anyway, I want so desperately to change the parade. I feel like I have yet another, albeit powerful ally in this so very obvious and kind of stupid fight. I mean who really disagrees?

My pal Trip Wilmot's joint is happening. He was there at the Equality dinner on Saturday as well. Trip is always lookin' good down the hood -- kind of a fashion freak. ... His East/West Lounge seems to be rocking at the old Revolver space. Not really a "private" club, it's totally open to the public. Check it out if you can. Jeffrey Sanker was at the bash as well. He is always kind and sweet and calm. He has such a "brand" no matter what you think of him. I like him. He is the Budweiser of circuit events. He just doesn't know it. Ironic to me that "The Abbey" will be branded before "Jeffrey Sanker." Crazy assed world. ... Echoes and re-echoes.

During the Equality dinner, for no apparent reason I interrogated my buddy John Brady. I guess I've known John since he moved here from up north a few years ago. Met him through Roy Eddleman. John is a good guy. Lot's of biz balls always in the air as opposed to the other way. He broke with party producer Will Gorges a while ago and I've never asked why. I guess I don't really care. He now produces events primarily at Avalon, which is the old Hollywood Palace on Vine. I produced a TV special there once with Bob Hope. If you ever run into me, ask me about the Bob Hope blowjob story. I can't write about it until Dolores dies. No, don't go there visually, but it is a great story. ... Anyway, over wine (John drank scotch), I wanted his take on what's going on with the club scene here. Pretty quickly he went to drugs and what he does to fight 'em at his events. I didn't even ask, but he went there. Obviously it's a sensitive issue with promoters. John basically said he does his best to control his venue. I was incredulous at his assertion that drugs were almost never at his events. He chided me. Lord, I'm not an idiot. Gossip is just the truth running ahead of itself in a red dress.

The Rolling Stones opened their A Bigger Bang tour Sunday at Fenway Park in Boston. When I was a baby I remember hearing "Satisfaction" in 1963 on a trip to my relatives farm in Fargo, N.D. and being totally whacked out by it. Lord, that was 42 years ago. Collectively, the Stones age up to 245 years -- same as my boyfriends if ya add 'em all up. But they still rock -- the Stones that is. I sat next to Mick Jagger last year at a dinner in Windsor, England, and we had a total ball. He was charming, engaging, and damned smart. Knew everything about the biz and life as we know it. Most singers are idiots. Jagger is pretty damned brilliant. They will gross over 100 million bucks this summer. I'm fascinated by rock 'n' rollers who have learned their trade by scratch. Not music, but biz. There really was no merchandise until the Beatles came to be and publishing really didn't have the same impact it does today until people put out two or three albums a year beginning in the '50s. The "Strolling Bones" are cool. I love a winner.

Labor Day is right around the corner and I miss Labor Day L.A. Millions were raised for HIV/AIDS charities from here to Orange County. It's so damn dumb that it's gone.

I'm off to my first official gay "wedding" this weekend. My pals Alan and TJ are tying the knot in Laguna well off the coast on a boat, actually. They are a great, pure, and honest love story and I'm honored to be invited. ... Can you believe the summer of 2005 is coming to a close? My birthday is Monday and I feel blessed with love, support, and good vibrations from friends and others. I've pissed off a few leather guys, my vet, and my proctologist this year, but all in all it's been a terrific year.

See You Out And About

Contact me: Malibudana@aol.com