By Billy Masters

Celebrity Gossip

Britney may not reclaim her pop princess title, but she's got other attributes left to exploit. According to a British documentary called Britney's Redneck Roots, Spears allegedly purchased Kim Cattrall's book, Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm, in an effort to keep then-beau Justin happy (because those tips really helped the Cattrall marriage). Someone went on record as saying, "Britney gives the best blow job ever." Alas, that quip has been cut from the documentary.

Someone who's never been shy about her oral expertise is Pamela Anderson, who last week endured one of the least funny roasts on Comedy Central by a group of no-talent hacks (with the exception of Bea Arthur and Courtney Love -- who probably doesn't even remember being there). But didya know Pam's mother wishes she were a lesbian? "I've definitely had opportunities with women. My mum has said that she wished I was gay -- I don't think she likes my taste in men." Bring Courtney home, and we'll see how thrilled Mom is with your taste in women!

Dick Clark's publicist has announced that Dick will return to his duties hosting the 34th edition of Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, but he'll have a co-host -- Ryan Seacrest. As part of Ryan's deal, he will be the executive producer of the show and has also been named to take over the show when Dick is no longer with us. This may sound mean, but (as one of my best friends would say) I'll bet dimes to donuts that Dick doesn't make it to this New Year's Eve! I could be wrong -- and I'll cop to it if he shows up (and, no, being driven through Times Square in a hearse definitely does not count).

I'm looking forward to the Oct. 2 "Flowers, Food & Art" garden party that will be a benefit for the Gay and Lesbian Adolescent Social Services. Sure, I'm happy to support the kids, but the big reason I'm excited is that this party will take place at (according to the press release) "the Bel Air estate of television and movie legend Connie Stevens, who is an honorary chair of the occasion along with her daughter, Joely Fisher." You can come, too. And support a good cause. Just check out www.GLASSLA.org for more details.

Back in his prime, Tab Hunter was one of the hottest and hunkiest guys around -- and he didn't mind flaunting his physique for the cameras. For years, a grainy photo of an allegedly young and naked Tab sitting in a chair, legs akimbo, has circulated. Adding credence to that allegation is a new crystal-clear photo that does indeed appear to be Tab in the same chair, wearing the same watch and absolutely nothing else. All I can say is ... WOW! ... Check it out for yourself at Filth2Go.com.

I seem to be well acquainted with famous naked men. And we'll continue that theme with this week's "Ask Billy" questions.

Justin in Toronto (I'm so international) writes: "I am in love with CK model Travis Fimmel. I buy everything of his that I come across on eBay. This past week a guy was selling a negative of a semi-nude shot that I've never seen before. I was outbid, but I wanted to show you the photos and see if you thought it was for real. And, is there any way we can actually see the photo from this scan of the negative?"

The Filth2Go technicians love a challenge, and they have been able to turn that negative into a pretty decent photo that shows the first inch of the shaft of Fimmel's fluffed phallus. I did some checking through the thousands of celebrity nudes we have in the Filth2Go Scrapbook, and I found a similar photo that was used in a CK tank top ad. I suspect this negative is legit and likely from the same session. Had it been used, it would have been judiciously cropped (the published shot ends at the top of Travis' pubes). I will post our photo along with this newly discovered unedited look at Travis' nether regions. Enjoy!

Mark from somewhere in Cyberspace also has photos on his mind: "I saw two pictures in a magazine. Entitled Speedo do's and don't's. One is of David Beckham playing on the Riviera and one is of Sean Astin working on his new film as a swim coach. I'll admit the washboard abs on David are great, but Sean looks pretty good for a slightly overweight straight guy. The banana in his hammock is a great deal bigger than David's."

Thanks for the heads up, Mark. I'll post the photos, but I'm sorry to say, I can't share your enthusiasm for Sean. I just remember how cute he was in Toy Soldiers (I'll run a nude from that film to remind you). Still, he looks OK in that Jim Belushi sorta way. But you are right -- his penis in the red Speedos appears to be quite impressive, to say the least (if you're into that kinda thing). I don't think I need to justify my running the David Beckham photo. You can find 'em both on Filth2Go.com.

As a little bonus, everyone is talking about the photos of Jude Law putting on his boxer shorts on the balcony of his mother's home in Vaudelnay, France. Why was he naked on Mom's balcony? Who knows? But thank God the paparazzi were there to capture some very clear, close-up shots of his uncut penis (which I'd already seen when he appeared on Broadway). And, yes, I'll run these photos -- 'cause I'm a giver.

Many, many fans have written in asking if I have the photos of openly gay ex-baseball player Billy Bean from Australia's Blue magazine. Yes, I have them. Yes, he looks hotter than ever (shirtless with a hint o' pubes). And, yes, I'll post 'em on Filth2Go.com.

Could it be that a certain pop pup is inching back into his cedar closet? ... So say sources close to the crew cut kid, who has reverted to his roots. I'm told that those rumblings about him coming out are decidedly premature. Not only is he staying put, but he's bringing that well-known fag hag in to keep him company. Don't be surprised if rumors surface of a wee one en route -- although we'd be awfully surprised if it ever arrived.

When I can accommodate Tab, Sean, Travis, Jude, Billy, and Becks (take that, Britney), it's definitely time to end yet another column. I dunno about you, but I'm a little hot and bothered with all the man-meat this week. Or maybe it's the weather. Either way, I ain't complaining. Sadly, the Filth2Go Beach House will soon be shut for yet another season, I'll be back in L.A., and the summer will be history. The seasons may come and go, but Filth2Go.com is forever. And, of course, no matter the season, no matter my locale, I am still here to dish dirt and deliver dick. Just write me at Billy@filth2go.com, and I promise to get back to you before Merv takes out a hit on Dick! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.