Celebrity Gossip

By Billy Masters

Although I'm here to dish dirt, I must confess that I can't help thinking about the poor folks hit by Hurricane Katrina. Many Filth2Go subscribers have written in to tell me the horrors of watching a lifetime of possessions float away - it really makes my bitching about having a middle seat on my transcontinental flight seem (almost) insignificant. There is one good thing that has come out of this tragedy -- CDs of Katrina and the Waves are selling like hotcakes! The "Walking on Sunshine" band plans to headline several benefit concerts and telethons to help hurricane victims. We'll keep you posted.

My summer vacation is over, and this past season in Provincetown might be the end of an era. It is possible that the beloved Filth2Go Beachhouse will be gone by next season. Also facing possible extinction is The Boatslip, which is the largest gay hotel/bar/disco in our little town by the sea. The new owners plan to bulldoze the place to the ground and build luxury condos. I have one request -- for the love of God, leave the dock intact!

Entertainment this season was a mixed bag. As usual, the highlights were the always-dependable Varla Jean Merman (www.VarlaOnline.com) and Randy Roberts (www.RandyRoberts.com). Elaine Stritch gave the final performances of her At Liberty show in Ptown before debuting At Home at the Carlyle in NYC next month. However, the summer belonged to Deborah Cox, who was featured in a rare full-length concert closing Carnival Week at Town Hall. The Provincetown Business Guild should be applauded for bringing in such a remarkable (and expensive) artist for a one-night benefit. While it didn't completely pay off financially, the show was incredibly memorable for those who attended. Cox performed some new material, a number of covers, and stripped-down versions of her own hits accompanied by a piano. She ended with a trio of her biggest dance hits sung to tracks. What an amazing, versatile, and giving performer.

You wouldn't expect me to be able to tie together a story about The Wizard of Oz and Tom Cruise, would you? Well, I'm gonna do just that. This past week, one of four authenticated pairs of ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in the classic musical was stolen from a Grand Rapids museum. What does this have to do with Tommy? It just so happens that this week, a pair of photos has surfaced of La Cruise as a child dressed up as Dorothy from the same film! Now, before I get carried away, Cruise's ever-vigilant attorney Bert Fields has issued a strong denial stating that one of the photos is actually Tom's sister Cass and that "at nine, (Tom) once put on the costume in the other picture for a Halloween party." Fields stresses that the implication that Tom enjoys dressing in women's clothing is to be strongly avoided. So, I'll avoid it -- but I'm still posting the photos at Filth2Go.com!

I hear murmurings that the folks at E! are hoping for a bloodbath between Kathy Griffin and Star Jones at the upcoming Emmy Awards. Jones will return to anchor the pre-show arrivals, and while it has not yet been announced, Griffin has told several sources that she'll be back as well -- even after going on record about her "tense" relationship with Star (illustrated in a recent episode of her Bravo series, My Life on the D-List). Look for Kathy to be in Missy's old spot, in the bell tower of the Shrine Auditorium.

Griffin seems to be everywhere -- she'll also turn up on the Sept. 26 episode of Days of Our Lives as the limo driver for returning hottie Austin Peck.

OK, I said I'd admit if I was wrong, and I very well may be wrong. On Sept. 15, ABC will air a special Celebrity A-List Bloopers, which will allegedly be co-hosted by the divine Sherri Shepherd and Dick Clark! Dick Clark? Isn't that the same guy I recently said is all but dead?Ê Who I predicted is barely able to speak, let alone host a television show? Yes, the very same. I'm sticking with my story -- maybe he's only in old clips. Or maybe Ryan Seacrest can stick his lips through a life-size photo of Dick -- like an episode of "Clutch Cargo." But if Dick actually shows up, I guess I was wrong...

This week's first "Ask Billy" question came a long way -- Ryan in Sydney, Australia asks: "Do you know anything about Tom Williams, the guy who won our version of Dancing With the Stars? I know the runner up is gay. What about Tom? When he stripped, I nearly fainted."

Here's my favorite type of question -- one that requires research. The Aussie version of Dancing... featured people we Yanks never heard of. It came down to openly-gay Rugby hottie Ian Roberts and this presumably straight chap Tom Williams, who hosts The Mole Down Under. How do I describe Tom? Think of soap actor Cameron Mathison -- and think of someone even hotter. In one of his final dances, he had no compunction about stripping off his shirt and gyrating to "You Can Leave Your Hat On." There is a rumor that this "performance" earned the admiration of that other self-proclaimed hetero dancing fool, Hugh Jackman -- and allegedly, Jackman would like to meat...er, meet with Williams to discuss some kind of collaboration. Me too! In the meantime, I will give you a treat and post Tom's strapping striptease in full at Filth2Go.com.

Steven in Ft. Lauderdale thought he was going insane: "I just sat through Eating Out (which I agree was not great, but the boys were hot) and I'm totally confused. I saw the photos on your Web site of Scott Lunsford and Ryan Carnes naked, but I never saw their dicks in the movie. Did you see some early version of the film? Or was the scene cut?"

This one had me stumped and annoyed, because frankly, the only reason to see the flick is for the nude scenes (OK, I did like the vibrant sets, too). After several e-mails with Steven, it came out that he rented the movie from Blockbuster -- and the scene was CENSORED! I'm as shocked as you are -- and if I rented films (which I don't), I'd boycott Blockbuster. As a public service to Steven (and the rest of you), I'll post the nude clip in its entirety on our Web site.

Could it be that when producers of The Bachelor were looking for a pseudo celeb star, Charlie O'Connell wasn't their first choice? I hear that after scouring the scene for a stud, the execs settled on a semi-solo singer who set temperatures soaring to new heights. Alas, during the pre-show health screening, it was revealed to the brass -- and, allegedly, to the lad himself -- that he has herpes! Look, it didn't stop Pfeiffer from getting ahead (or giving it).

When I can service you in ways Michelle and Blockbuster can only dream of, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Now that my summer vacation is over, I'll be back to hobnobbing with the rich and famous -- and then tattling on them. So, if you have anyone you'd like me to spy on or perhaps have a question (or anything else) burning in your loins, take a little Valtrex and e-mail me at Billy@filth2go.com and I promise to get back to you after I respond to Bert Fields! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.