*but were afraid to ask

By Joseph S. Amster

Avatar seeks to educate those interested in leather, BDSM, and kink, while creating camaraderie in the leather community and raising money.

Have you ever been curious about leather/BDSM/kink, wanted to learn more, but didn't know where to turn? Perhaps you've been to one of the leather or BDSM demonstrations at a Pride festival and your interest was piqued. If you've ever wanted to explore your kinky side but didn't know where to start, the Avatar Club Los Angeles Club offers the opportunity for you to learn more and make your fantasies come true.

The need for the classes arose out of what Avatar recognized as a lack of complete information available to the public, according to Avatar Public Relations Officer George Wong. "Our organization felt there was a large need for education of skills, techniques, and creativity for kinky and leather stuff -- there was really nothing like that out there," says Wong. "A lot of people were getting information from the Internet, but not getting complete information and some of it was wrong. What Avatar decided to do was become much more educational and provide the community in general with education on how to do a lot of this and have fun with it. We call it safe, sensual, and fun. We provide monthly educational workshops on the fourth Wednesday from 8:30-10 p.m. at the MCC in the Valley located in North Hollywood. We have a different topic every month, and they're open to all interested adults. It's not just for the men, we have a lot of regular attendees who are women. They know that we're educationally focused and they know that we bring in quality speakers and presenters, so they come for that and learn. Education is important because we'd like everybody to learn the techniques, skills, and safety issues. We don't want anyone to be harmed or to harm themselves in playing; we want them to have fun and to do it safely and correctly."

For men wanting to take their leather experience to a deeper level, Avatar also offers smaller classes with a more personal approach. "We also provide a hands-on class that is usually $30 per person per class called Avatar Leather Lab. It's limited to 10 males -- it doesn't matter if you're heterosexual, bi or gay, as long as you're male," says Wong. "Everybody in the class learns from the top and the bottom position of whatever the topic is. In fisting, for example, each of the 10 men in the class hops into the sling. We pair them off in the class and they will learn the top and bottom position of that specific kink. They also get a printout with references to books, Web sites, and instructions by the presenter."

In addition to the classes, Wong believes there is a larger message that the public needs to understand about the leather/BDSM/kink scene that is not getting across. "Some of the misconceptions are that in kinky sex we are actually harming people," says Wong. "In flogging, for example, when people see that, they think we're actually harming someone. When the bottom is moaning, groaning, and screaming, it's not because we're harming them. Yes, it may hurt, but it's a hurt that becomes pleasurable. A lot of people think that we're just there to harm others, teaching them a lesson, or it's punishment. Partners discuss limits, what they're capable of doing, what they have done, and what they would like to accomplish in that one theme. If they have a certain limit, a top may want to push that limit just a little bit and see how it goes. If pushing that limit just doesn't work, then he'll pull back. It's about expanding limits, knowledge, and horizons. You go through a negotiation process before playing, and that means finding out what your limits are, what you do, what you do not do."

In addition to educating people about safe techniques and battling stereotypes, Avatar has a long history of fund-raising for various causes, especially AIDS. "In the '90s, with lots of our leather brothers were falling from the epidemic, we wanted to help -- as well as a lot of the women. The lesbians in the community in general came to the rescue of the leathermen that were dying from AIDS. They started doing fund-raising with a lot of the non-profit HIV/AIDS organizations, the food banks, and working with them to build some funds to help with a community that was affected by the AIDS epidemic," says Wong. "We had a recent event at Pistons Bar in Long Beach, and it was a fund-raiser for the survivors of Hurricane Katrina. We raised over $3,000, and all of it is going to the fund that is going to be distributed directly into the leather community there in New Orleans. Also, this Christmas, we'll be doing our annual wreath auction where we invite or ask other local organizations like the Bears L.A., the uniform clubs, the motorcycle clubs, and the title holders to create a Christmas wreath. We provide the actual wreaths, and they decorate it to fit what best represents their club, personality, or title. They're all hung up at the bar, and we do a silent as well as a live auction of these wreaths. All of the proceeds go to a charity of our choice."

Above all, Avatar is a community of men who came together 22 years ago with the purpose of sharing their experience and creating a community. Along with everything else they've accomplished over the years, they haven't forgotten what brought them together. "They started talking amongst themselves, and decided to start meeting on a regular basis to share, ask questions, and compare notes," says Wong. "It started growing out of that. What grew out of those people coming together was a fraternal brotherhood of membership by invitation only."

For more information about joining Avatar, their classes, and demonstrations, call (818) 563-4626 or go to www.avatarla.org.