By Jackie Beat

John Epperson and his drag alter ego Lypsinka bring their SRO hit The Passion of the Crawford to the West Coast to benefit the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center.

Jackie Beat finally gets Lypsinka, the world's most famous lip-syncher, to speak! John Epperson, creator and performer of the legendary Lypsinka, was born in Hazlehurst, Miss., and began his behind-the-scenes New York theater career as a rehearsal pianist at American Ballet Theater. Lypsinka burst on the scene in I Could Go On Lip-Synching and has continued to amaze audiences in such star turns as Lypsinka! Now It Can Be Lip-Synched, Lypsinka Must Be Destroyed, and Lypsinka! As I Lay Lip-Synching. The multiple-award-winner (including the LA Weekly Award for Outstanding Solo Performance in 2001) has appeared in the films Wigstock: The Movie, Angels in America, Kinsey, and the upcoming Another Gay Movie. The legendary drag performer opens up about her new show, beauty secrets and meeting fans backstage in her underwear.

Jackie Beat: Tell us a bit about your exciting new show The Passion of the Crawford. I mean, we all love Phantom of the Opera star Michael Crawford, but this seems a bit much... Huh? Oh, it's about Joan Crawford!?

Lypsinka: Yes, I feel St. Joan often gets short shrift from so-called "impersonators" who portray her as a wire-hanger-wielding caricature, so I wanted to present her as a more complex, multi-layered human, but with my usual lip-synching mindfuck and laughs.

How does it feel to be returning to Hollywood? After all, this is where Joan Crawford really became a legendary monster.

I always enjoy coming to Hollywood. But Jacqueline Susann told Rex Reed to never go to Hollywood unless they call for you, so I take that advice. The last time I was there was to film a movie with Scott Thompson called Another Gay Movie. It should be out within the next 12 months.

Twelve months, huh? Out here we call that a year, honey. What's your favorite thing about Tinseltown?

The weather, my pals, looking for older stars at Orso. And speaking of older stars, I always enjoy seeing you, um, Judy! Julie? Whatever.

It's Jackie. And your least favorite thing about the City of Angels?

The standards: the airport, the traffic, the car culture in general. Except I do like playing Pac-Man at the car wash!

What do you think of the current state of drag?

I wonder how anyone can think of anything new to do. Seems like it's all been done!

I'm inches away from you and your absolutely gorgeous!

Thank you! Helen Keller said the same thing to me. Well, she tried to anyway.

Any beauty tips or secrets for our hideous readers?

Kiehl's moisturizer with sun block!

You are also stunningly thin and statuesque. Do you eat?

I eat and eat and eat and never gain an ounce. Isn't it awful?

Yes, just awful. Poor thing. I hate your guts.

It must be a high metabolism. I keep wondering if it will change. I hope not!

Oh, I hope it does! I'm sacrificing a chicken and doing a Santaria "Get Fat" spell as we speak! What's your favorite food?

My favorite food is Italian, but I tend to eat organic at home.

Then you'll be happy to know the chicken I used in the ritual was free range. What about your fitness regime? Do you work out?

I try to walk a mile a day, plus butt and stomach and back exercises.

My God, I'm exhausted just hearing about it!

Here, have another potato chip.

Thanks. Let's be honest, your fans are...

Fanatical?

Exactly. Do you have any horror stories about a fan going too far?

It really pisses me off when fans or even friends barge backstage when I'm sitting there in my underwear after a show. There's someone from Turkey who writes me via my Web site [www.Lypsinka.com] wanting a date. I write back and say it's not fair that he knows what I look like but I don't know what he looks like!

Your career has been sprinkled with some very interesting TV and movie appearances. What future projects should we keep an eye out for?

Besides the movie with Scott, there's also the DVD of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? with commentary by me and Charles Busch, a Logo special about gays and movies, a publishing company has asked me for my memoirs, I've written a play called My Deah, (which is) Medea set in the South, and a theater company in New York has expressed interest in developing it.

This is not really an interview, Lyp. It's an intervention. You're a workaholic!

I also have an autobiographical show that I do in my street clothes, playing the piano and singing, called John Epperson: Show Trash. I've been pushing all of this stuff since I live in the city in America that is most likely to get another terrorist attack. When the World Trade Towers came tumbling down, I thought to myself, "Life really is short. You better get on the stick and do all those things you've always wanted to do." Just like in the early '80s when the AIDS crisis made me start to work on Lypsinka.

Wow, you somehow managed to mention 9/11 and AIDS in one response. I certainly hope your show is more cheerful than this, lady! Kidding. You've entertained people all over the world. What's your favorite city and why?

My favorite city in the world is Paris. It's so beautiful and the people are so civilized.

Civilized!? They don't even use deodorant!

I also have deep ties to New Orleans. I grew up only two hours north and was always conniving to get there and buy books and magazines and sheet music I couldn't find in Mississippi. So I'm grieving about it.

9/11 and AIDS wasn't enough? You just had to get Hurricane Katrina in there, didn't you? Honestly, I'm ready to end it all! Okay, let's change the subject... You've met tons of celebrities. Who impressed you the most and why?

I had lunch with Joan Collins at the Ivy in Beverly Hills a few years ago. She was delightful and funny and real and sort of bitchy. I loved her. She stopped traffic on the street and strange men just walked up to her giving her jewelry and gifts. It was marvelous and bizarre.

Admit it, you just love self-centered bitches named Joan! What celeb was the biggest disappointment?

I had some dealings with a very, very famous female singer who shall remain nameless about 14 years ago. When we met and it was about me she was very nice. When it was about her, she was not so nice. I guess it's the pressure. Anyhow, I wonder if she's mellowed now that she has kids, but I don't care to fly that close to the sun again.

Gee, I wonder who you're talking about... Does her name by any chance start with the letter M and rhyme with "Fadonna"? Speaking of celebrities, what do you think of today's young stars? Do you think you'll ever do The Passion of the Lohan?

Let me say this much: I was so pleased to not know for many years who Jennifer Aniston was.

Hey, do you think Mel Gibson will come to see The Passion of the Crawford?

I hear he's coming with Michael Crawford!

John Epperson as Lypsinka as Joan Crawford in The Passion of the Crawford runs Oct. 6-23 at the the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Renberg Theatre, 1125 N. McCadden Pl., L.A. For tickets or more information, call (323) 860-7300.