By Steve Siler

We Americans would like to think that we invented and perfected everything in the known universe, but at least in the case of the automobile, we neither invented nor perfected it. Indeed, no one does cars like the Germans, who have been doing cars since 1883 (back when they were called "horseless carriages" and many onlookers thought they were possessed by demons).

And so, being the car queen that I am, I made my first pilgrimage to Germany a few weeks ago to see with my own eyes what's regarded in the car industry as the mother of all auto shows, the Internationale Automobil Ausstellung, a.k.a. the Frankfurt Auto Show. Consuming 10 halls and several city blocks, the IAA makes the L.A. auto show look like a well lit parking lot.

Here are some of the highlights.

Mercedes-Benz S-Class

Taking some pages out of the Maybach style (and substance) manual is the all-new 2006 Mercedes-Benz S-Class. With its sharply chiseled nose, broad-shouldered stance and its gently sloping tail, the new S-Class simply drips with substance and makes the outgoing S appear tres passe. The interior is nothing short of stunning, with an Audi-esque dash design, an elegant track of nighttime mood lighting (oh, how we love track lighting!) and available twin rear entertainment screens. A range of engines is available, from "plenty" of power to roughly twice that amount. And of course, no premium Benz could be marketed without a couple of sassy "designo" trim packages, the most striking of which features soft pastel yellow leather, black lacquer and more.

Volkswagen Eos

VW wowed us with its striking new Eos convertible. Based on the Golf/Jetta, but about 20 times prettier, the four-seat Eos has a clever five-piece glass-paneled hardtop; the center piece slides back sunroof-style, or if you keep holding the button, continues into the trunk with the rest of the top (a la the Mercedes-Benz SL). It'll go on sale in Germany in spring of 2006; we'll see it here in the United States as soon as summer at a price above that of the New Beetle Convertible.

Jaguar XK8

Seven years after its launch, Jaguar's XK8 sport coupe remains one of the most beautiful cars on the planet. But if you think today's car is nice, wait till you savor your first up-close walk around the gorgeous upcoming XK. Aston Martin designer Ian Callum sharpened the kitty's claws with subtle creases over the swollen fenders, while the lights front and rear are much more expressive. The body is now all-aluminum and the engine is more powerful, each contributing to the big cat's more sprightly pounce. And of course, the interior is spectacular, as it should be in any new Jaguar. The convertible will debut in January at the Detroit show.

Volvo C70 Convertible

Volvo made news with its sexy new C70. Previously available as either a coupe or a convertible, the new C70 is now both, its three-piece hardtop folding like a metal club sandwich into the trunk. The super-safe style machine will make it to our shores next spring with a price in the low $40K range.

Mitsubishi Sportback Concept

Mitsubishi's slick, aggressive Sportback concept had us all saying, "You go Mitsubishi!" Aggressively styled, with a forward canted, shark-like nose, the Sportback has a nicely proportioned five-door hatchback body so sexy it may change your opinion of hatchbacks forever. Mitsubishi desperately needs a hit in the United States, and it may just have it once it's readied for production and brought over in, say, about a year's time as the next Lancer.

Jeep Compass

Something we thought we'd never see is a Jeep car. But that's more or less what the new Compass is. Based on the hatchback-only Neon replacement (called the Caliber) coming soon to Dodge stores, the five-door Compass is being pitched as a "lifestyle vehicle" or something like that, which can be translated as a car that won't do much off-road but can haul things. In spite of being low slung and street-oriented, it wears the Jeep schnoz pretty well. I like it.

Jeep Patriot

Unlike the funky Compass, the new Patriot is much more what we expect from Jeep. Also geared at the less off-road-inclined, the Patriot will compete with the Toyota RAV4 and Honda CR-V more directly than does the more rugged, truckier Jeep Liberty with which it will share showroom space.

Opel Antara GTC Concept

The Antara GTC crossover-ute may wear the Opel badge from GM's European brand, you'll see something like it in Saturn showrooms as the next Vue in about two years' time. Likely, it will grow a couple more doors than the concept's mere two, but otherwise the styling shouldn't change a whole lot. A good thing, too, since Saturn could use something like this to spice up its bland product lineup.

Maybach 57S

Maybach, purveyor of all things excessive, has just outdone itself with its 57S super sedan. Basically, the 57S is just like the opulent 57 sedan (that also graces the driveway of Madonna, incidentally), only with enough power to launch the space shuttle (the plain old 57 merely has enough to pull a freight train). The interior is a rich combination of piano black accents and acres of special leathers, while the exterior comes in any color you like as long as it's black.

Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder

Ooh La-Lambo! Just when you thought Lamborghinis couldn't get any wilder, they chopped the top off its low-slung, high-profile Gallardo supercar and created the even more extroverted Gallardo Spyder. It still features Lamborghini's magnificent V-10, but is even more fun than the previous coupe thanks to numerous mechanical mods. Not that you're always going to want to go fast, however; this car is just as much about being seen in as driving.

BMW Z4 Coupe

What do you do when your sassy little convertible is deemed too cute to be taken seriously by sports car people? Add a roof, beef up the wheels and intensify the mood. That's exactly what BMW did in designing its awesome Z4 coupe. To many, the Z4 coupe looks even better than its already nice-looking ragtop counterpart thanks to its edgy rear end design and baseball-cap proportions. The spider-like, charcoal-painted wheels are a particularly striking feature, as is the matte-finished silver paint that they really ought to offer on its production cars. You'll see the coupe here within months.

Audi Q7

Starting with stellar mechanicals borrowed from the Porsche Cayenne and Volkswagen Touareg, Audi has built its first-ever SUV. In creating the Q7, Audi stretched the proven SUV platform to make room for seven passengers and styled it in the swelligant vein of the Audi A6. The exterior is instantly recognizable as belonging to Audi, thanks to its sinister gaze and big honkin' grille, while the interior is basically a mix of A6 and A8 decadence. BTW: it looks better in person than in pictures -- trust us.

Saab 9-5

Thorough updates inside and out may help Saab's affable but unremarkable 9-5 flagship get more attention from the style whores in the audience. With a dark, mean-looking headlamp treatment and improved interior ergonomics, the 9-5's mood has been transformed. As before, the 9-5 is available either as a sedan or stylish wagon.

Bentley Azure

Want lots, waste lots. Another big Bentley bone is thrown at pro athletes and rap stars in the form of Bentley's latest ragtop, the Azure. Based on the huge Arnage and awfully reminiscent of the previous Azure, the new Azure features cleaner front styling, a few interior upgrades and an even higher price tag than its predecessor. It's also powered by a gargantuan turbocharged V-8 that will make up in power what it lacks in fuel economy. Then again, what do these people car about fuel economy?

When Money Actually Is An Object

By Steve Siler

We gays love to walk around in designer duds, drive expensive cars and label-drop at every opportunity. But let's face it, most of us are on a budget. I know this because even my wealthiest friends ask me these days how they can save money when it comes to cars. More to the point, what everybody wants to know is, in the age of $3/gallon gas, what is the most cost-effective vehicle in a given class?

Well, as you can imagine, it's a little bit more complicated than looking at the MSRP or estimated fuel costs. Hence I wasn't able to do all the research on my own, so I outsourced this one to Edmunds.com, which compiles one of the best systems around to measure cost-effectiveness, called the "True Cost to Own." This matrix measures depreciation, insurance, financing, taxes and fees, fuel, maintenance and repairs. Edmunds further divides each body style (sedan, SUV, etc.) into price brackets (under $15K, under $25, etc.), which makes sense since people tend to shop within certain price parameters just as much as vehicle types. Edmunds' findings can be found at www.edmunds.com/reviews/tco/2005/

index.html?tid=edmunds.h..research.bestcars.8.*, which I recommend visiting to find links to its thorough reviews of each winner. But here are the 2005-model winners themselves:

Sedans

Under $15K Toyota Echo

Under $25K Honda Civic

Under $35K Honda Accord

Under $45K BMW 3-Series

Over $45K Audi A6

Coupes

Under $15K Toyota Echo

Under $25K Honda Civic

Under $35K Mazda RX-8

Under $45K Infiniti G35

Over $45K Mercedes-Benz CLK

Convertibles

Under $25K Mazda MX-5 Miata

Under $35K VW New Beetle

Under $45K Nissan 350Z

Over $45K BMW 3-Series

Wagons

Under $15K Kia Rio

Under $25K Scion xB

Under $35K Saab 9-2X

Under $45K Volvo Xc70

Over $45K Audi Allroad Quattro

SUVs

Under $25K Honda CR-V

Under $35K Toyota Highlander

Under $45K Lexus RX330

Over $45K Infiniti FX45

Pickups

Compact truck Chevrolet Colorado

Large truck Toyota Tundra*source: Edmunds.com

Important to remember is that this information pertains to 2005 models; several, such as the Honda Civic and BMW 3-Series have been enhanced or redesigned for 2006 or, in the case of the Toyota Echo, discontinued (to be replaced by the affable new Yaris).

More importantly, many new models have been introduced for 2006 that may nudge 2005's winners off the list when the new list is compiled sometime by the end of the year. However, Edmunds.com does calculate a "True Cost to Own" for every vehicle it reviews, including the many 2006 models already covered, so I would suggest checking the site for detailed info before buying.

Also, if only one aspect of ownership is particularly important to you, like gas mileage or insurance costs, Kelley Blue Book (www.kbb.com) has some illuminating Top 10 lists pertaining to specific topics.

So if putting food on your table is as challenging as putting wheels in your garage, I hope this helps.