"I have nothing against gay people -- Ryan (Seacrest) is on the show!"

-- Simon Cowell responds to accusations that he's homophobic. I think that counts as both an apology -- and an outing. Is that good enough for ya, GLAAD?

I wish cameras were allowed inside prison, because I believe Lil Kim's incarceration would make a great reality show (I'd also like to see the MeneNdez boys servicing everyone else in their cell block, but that's another story). BET is airing Kim's reality show Countdown to Lockdown (which is eerily reminiscent of an award-winning short I wrote eons ago called Countdown to Meltdown), but that series ends with her going into prison. Since she's been there, her thoughts have gotten darker -- and wetter. Kim is convinced that her saline breast implants are leaking and that life in prison could result in her having a life-threatening health issue (or, perhaps, becoming intimate with her cellmate, Roberta). Authorities have refused to release Kim because a mammary malfunction isn't grounds for clemency. However, her health is being monitored by the prison doctor, and if need be, outside medical assistance will be available. If not, look for Kim -- with or without her jugs -- to be sprung sometime this summer.

By the time Kim's a free woman, Will & Grace will be history. But a couple of cast members already have gigs lined up. Most of you know that Megan Mullally has a talk show that will debut in the fall (at this rate, everyone but me will have a talk show). And little Eric McCormack is on his way off-Broadway to star in Neil LaBute's play Some Girl(s). Although this will be the U.S. premiere of the play, Eric is actually following in the footsteps of another sitcom star -- David Friends Schwimmer played the same role in London last year.

Eric ain't the only sitcom star hitting the stage -- Delta Burke is about to make her Los Angeles stage debut in Southern Baptist Sissies. The hit play is being revived as part of a season-long celebration of the works of Del Shores. Of course, Delta starred in the film adaptation of Del's play Sordid Lives, which is playing

in repertory with Sissies. Interestingly, Delta's co-star Leslie Jordan has been appearing in both plays. Oy, it's way too

complicated for me to unravel in the confines of this column. The bottom line is that Delta will be in the play March 29 through April 22, and you can get more details and information at www.SeasonOfShores.com.

We've had sitcom stars heading to the stage -- how's about a stage vet heading to TV? The Class is a new sitcom by David Crane (creator of Friends) and Jeffrey Klarik (from Mad About You) which TV royalty James Burrows will direct. Behind the scenes is in such good shape that all of the networks were in a bidding war for the show -- with CBS snagging it. The ensemble cast of eight will include our very own Sam Harris -- whose character is married ... to a woman!...And they said it couldn't be done...

I listen to my fans, and I know you love it when I give members exclusive videos or some sexy pics. So, have you seen Ricky Martin's video to "It's Alright"? Although the song is somewhat trite, the video is kinda hot. Take note of a shirtless Ricky chugging some milk out of the bottle -- with most of the milk splashing down his torso. After the revelation that he enjoys "golden showers," this footage is quite telling. One thing is clear -- milk absolutely does a body good, and BillyMasters.com has the footage to prove it!

Since Jon Secada has written hits for Ricky, this seems a perfect time to plug him (so to speak). His new CD, Same Dream, is quite an impressive collection of songs -- I'm particularly fond of the single "Window to My Heart" (you'll probably hear me sing it at one of my upcoming appearances). Jon sounds amazing, but I'm not surprised -- he's a great singer, in addition to being a sexy guy and a friend to our community (well, he's friends with Ricky -- that's good enough for me). You can check out dates for his U.S. tour at www.JonSecada.com.

Our first "Ask Billy" question comes from Frank in Baltimore: "I've been reading about this hunk Channing Tatum online. I guess he's got some movie coming out, but all I can find are some hot shirtless photos of him. Where did he come from?... What's the movie?... And does he take off more than just his shirt?"

That's not one question -- that's three!...But I'm happy to oblige. Channing Tatum is a lean 26-year-old lad from Alabama who has been modeling for several years. You may have caught him sporting a platinum mohawk in Ricky Martin's "She Bangs" video (I'm told Mr. Martin cast him personally), in a Mountain Dew commercial, or in the film Coach Carter. The movie you're referring to is She's the Man, which opened last week. However, the road to success is paved with various opportunities, and in 1998, Chan (as he's called) was attending football camp during the summer at Glenville State College. An amateur photographer on campus convinced him to pose for some homoerotic photos in return for beer money! This, by the way, is why professional actors have agents. When he showed up for the session, Tatum volunteered, "I'm not sure what kind of pictures you want. I just beat off an hour ago."... If only that photographer were a little earlier. Chan ended up posing in his undies and was willing to play with himself, which I suppose is better than nothing. Except we have much better than nothing -- we have something! A year or so later, photographer Ruven Afanador got Chan to go completely nude for a photo that ended up in his book Sombra -- full frontal and, perhaps, slightly "fluffed." Because I know my fans are fluffer nutters, you can check out the lovely Mr. Tatum at BillyMasters.com.

Randall in Key West has an "Ask Billy" question that made me do a bit of investigating: "A friend of mine goes to lots of those amateur porn sites. He told me that one of the Power Rangers is gay and doing porn. Is this true? Can you find out any details -- and maybe run some pictures?"

I thought tracking this down would be a hard one -- so to speak. But, as it turns out, one of the little people at Billy Masters Media Corp. is a devotee of such sites. Apparently, the Power Ranger formerly known as "Red" is Austin St. John, who does a bit of porn under the name of Brock for SeanCody.com. The mega-buff boy primarily works as a personal trainer in Virginia and got into the skin trade by doing some erotic posing. This led to solo work for Mr. Cody, and more recently, Austin's been the recipient of some oral attention. As to the second part of Randall's question -- yes, we've got photos of every inch of "Red Brock" at BillyMasters.com.

When I have enough room to accommodate every inch of Tatum and a Power Ranger, it's definitely time to end yet another column. You know, I realize I haven't given you a blind item in a couple of weeks. One of my newspapers suggested an all-blind item column -- but I feel that would be torture for you (plus, that's Miss Musto's turf). But I promise next week, I'll give you something cryptic. In the interim, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com, where you can always find the best in gossip, entertainment news, and other tantalizing tidbits. If you have any questions, feel free to drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I track down a Power Ranger who's straight! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.