From mutant outsiders and men in tights to suicidal gay uncles and evil fashion executives, the 2006 summer movie season offers a plethora of campy, vampy good times for all.

By Ken Knox

By the time you read this, the 2006 summer movie season will have already begun. By now, Tom Cruise has vanquished another arch villain and done lots of running in Mission: Impossible III, Lindsay Lohan has switched bodies (again!) with cutie-pie Josh Pine in Just My Luck, and the impossibly handsome Josh Lucas has run around saving lives (and launching countless fantasies) while clad in clingy, wet clothing in Poseidon. This summer seems to offer a little bit of something for everyone, even a handful of gay-themed features. Here are some highlights, courtesy of your fellow film buffs at IN.

The DaVinci Code
Director: Ron Howard
Starring: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Paul Bettany, Sir Ian McKellen
Release Date: May 19
The Story: After a murder victim's body is discovered at the Louvre, a Harvard professor (Hanks) and a French cryptologist (Tautou) become entwined in a centuries-old Vatican cover-up about the nature of Jesus' relationship with Mary Magdalene.
Why we want to see it: In his middle age, Howard is becoming an increasingly powerhouse filmmaker. Dan Brown's über-popular suspense novel is an ideal vehicle for his increasingly eclectic oeuvre. Aside from that, there's always laughing at Hanks' matted hairdo for the fashion snobs.

The King
Director: James Marsh
Starring: Gael García Bernal, William Hurt, Pell James
Release Date: May 19
The Story: Fresh out of the Navy, a Corpus Christi native (Bernal) returns home to reconnect with his father (Hurt)-with disturbing results.
Why we want to see it: Plenty of opportunities for the preternaturally gorgeous Bernal (a veteran of gay-themed flicks such as Y tu mamá también and Bad Education) to take off his shirt. (Don't judge; you know you want to see it now, too.)

X-Men: The Last Stand
Director: Brett Ratner
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Kelsey Grammar Ben Foster, Ellen Page
Release Date: May 26
The Story: Those mutant X-Men are faced with making the life-altering decision of choosing a “normal life” or remaining the redheaded step-heroes of the world when a cure for genetic aberrations is found. General chaos ensues.
Why we want to see it: In addition to the wonderful Sir Ian McKellen, the whole gay parallel (the X-Men are outcasts for being “different”), and-sigh!—Hugh Jackman in tight leather pants, the addition of pretty boys Daniel Cudmore as Colossus and Ben Foster as the aptly-named (and often shirtless) Angel should have the girls (and plenty of us boys) drooling in between all those awesome action sequences. Can't wait for number four!

The Break-Up
Director: Peyton Reed
Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Joey Lauren Adams, Judy Davis
Release Date: June 2
The Story: Bitter exes Aniston and Vaughn decide to cohabitate in their jointly-owned condo when neither of them will agree to move out.
Why we want to see it: Because the more-than-deserving Aniston (who allegedly fell for co-star Vaughn while filming) deserves a hit, damn it, and the non-traditional scenario (from an idea birthed by Vaughn) is just clever enough to get us in the seats to help her get it.

Peaceful Warrior
Director: Victor Salva
Starring: Scott Mechlowicz, Nick Nolte, Amy Smart
Release Date: June 2
The Story: An Olympic-bound college gymnast (Mechlowicz) encounters a mysterious gas station attendant (Nolte) who teaches him the art of inner healing.
Why we want to see it: Honestly? Because director Salva (Powder) is known for fawning over his young male leads, and Mechlowicz (who was dynamic in 2004's Mean Creek) is so beautiful it hurts.

A Prairie Home Companion
Director: Robert Altman
Starring: Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, Kevin Kline, John C. Reilly, Woody Harrelson, Lindsay Lohan, Virginia Madsen
Release Date: June 9
The Story: Director Altman tracks the fictional goings-ons during the final performance of long-running radio show A Prairie Home Companion.
Why we want to see it: Nobody does multiple story lines quite like 80-year-old film legend Altman-even if he brought Lohan along for the ride.

Agnes and His Brothers
Director: Oskar Roehler
Release Date: June 9
The Story: The story of three brothers-one a womanizer, one a criminal, and one a transsexual-who are all looking for love in modern-day Germany.
Why we want to see it: Because stories about brothers are usually pretty hot, and any film directed by the guy who helmed a movie called Suck My Dick (2001) has got to be worth at least checking out.

The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green
Director: George Bamber
Starring: Daniel Letterle, Micah McCain, Meredith Baxter
Release Date: June 16
The Story: Based on the popular comic strip, this film adaptation tells the story of a hapless homo (Letterle) and his dating woes in the big city. Who can't relate?
Why we want to see it: Because those us who are sick of self-conscious indie gay comedies need something else to bash when we're not fawning over the DVD release of Brokeback Mountain.

The Lake House
Director: Alejandro Agresti
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Shohreh Aghdashioo, Dylan Walsh
Release Date: June 16
The Story: Reeves and Bullock (together again for the first time since Speed) play man and woman living in the same house—two years apart—who communicate via a magical mail box.
Why we want to see it: Um, because, well… Hmmm. We're still thinking that one over. We'll get back to you.

Strangers with Candy
Director: Paul Dinello
Starring: Amy Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Paul Dinello, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick
Release Date: June 28
The Story: In this long-awaited and much-delayed prequel to Comedy Central's cult series, 47-year-old pansexual Jerri Blank (Sedaris, who co-wrote the script with director/co-star Dinello and co-star Colbert) is released from prison and decides to return to high school to get her diploma.
Why we want to see it: Have you seen the hilarious TV show? No further explanation necessary.

The Devil Wears Prada
Director: David Frankel
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, Adrian Grenier, Stanley Tucci
Release Date: June 30
The Story: A hapless fashion magazine underling (Hathaway) must endure many humiliations and demands from her impossible-to-please boss (Streep) in this adaptation of Lauren Weisberger's 2003 best-seller.
Why we want to see it: Because we need some kind of fashion fix until Project Runway comes back on. And who wouldn't want to see Streep vamping it up as a fashion diva?

Poster Boy
Director: Zak Tucker
Starring: Jack Noseworthy, Matt Newton, Karen Allen, Michael Lerner
Release Date: June 30
The Story: An ambitious activist (Noseworthy) involved with the closeted son (Newton) of a U.S. senator (Lerner) thinks about exploiting his situation for political gain.
Why we want to see it: Because the scenario sounds just involving enough to almost make us forget the recent onslaught of wretchedly self-conscious gay indie flicks. Almost.

Superman Returns
Director: Brian Singer
Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, James Marsden, Parker Posey
Release Date: June 30
The Story: Sort of picking up where Superman II (the last good film in the series of Christopher Reeve as Superman flicks) left off, this one finds ol' Supe (Routh) returning to Earth after a five-year absence to find that Lois Lane (Bosworth) has a kid and Lex Luther (Spacey) is up to no good again.
Why we want to see it: Apart from the whole “hot man in tights” thing, hella-gay director Singer (who dropped out of X-Men 3 to helm this one) is onboard to inject new life into the franchise. Well, that and Parker Posey is in it.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Director: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy
Release Date: July 7
The Story: Engaged lovers Will Turner (Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Knightley) team up to help with swaggering old pal Captain Jack (Depp) to defeat an army of undead soldiers. General swashbuckling and loads of overacting ensue.
Why we want to see it: Because Depp is on a roll after scoring an Oscar nod for his first turn as Capt. Jack, and because Bloom seems best suited for action-adventure period films.

A Scanner Darkly
Director: Richard Linklater
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson
Release Date: July 7
The Story: A drug-addicted undercover cop (Reeves) gets in over his head when he is assigned to a new case in Orange County in this part-animated, part-live action thriller based on the novel by Phillip K. Dick.
Why we want to see it: Linklater explored similar territory to great effect with 2001's Waking Life. Plus: the return of Winona Ryder!

The Groomsmen
Director: Edward Burns
Starring: Edward Burns, Jay Mohr, Matthew Lillard, Donal Logue, John Leguizamo, Brittany Murphy, John Mahoney
Release Date: July 14
The Story: Five men-friends since childhood-are forced to grow up when perennial bachelor Paulie (writer-director-star Burns) gets hitched to his pregnant girlfriend (Murphy).
Why we want to see it: Because nobody makes chick flicks for dudes better than Edward Burns. And, with Leguizamo onboard as token gay T.C., you can bet there'll be a monkey wrench or two for these aging dolts to deal with.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Director: Ivan Reitman
Starring: Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, Eddie Izzard, Rainn Wilson
Release Date: July 21
The Story: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned when Matt (Wilson) breaks up with his “needy” girlfriend Jenny (Thurman)—only to discover that she's a spiteful superheroine.
Why we want to see it: Because the premise sounds like a hoot, and Thurman has proven to be fabulous in both comedy and action-adventure flicks. Oh, and Luke Wilson with his shirt off.

Lady in the Water
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeffrey Wright
Release Date: July 21
The Story: An apartment building superintendent (Giamatti) discovers a sea nymph (Howard) in the complex's swimming pool, and tries to return her to her own world.
Why we want to see it: Because Shyamalan is (finally!) taking a break from those heavy-handed supernatural thrillers with twist endings and trying his hand at a bedtime story so absurdly silly that it just might be a winner.

Time to Leave (Le Temps Qui Reste)
Director: François Ozon
Starring: Melvil Poupaud, Jeanne Moreau
Release Date: July 21
The Story: A successful fashion photographer (Melvil Poupaud) is diagnosed with untreatable cancer in this gay-themed take on a Douglas Sirk weepie.
Why we want to see it: Ozon's The Swimming Pool was a deliciously twisty suspense drama. We're hoping he applies a similar touch to this one.

Little Miss Sunshine
Directors: Valerie Faris, Jonathan Dayton
Starring: Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Steve Carell, Abigail Breslin, Alan Arkin, Beth Grant
Release Date: July 28
The Story: A dysfunctional family—including The Office's Carell as a suicidal gay uncle—race across three states so that young Olive (Breslin) can participate in a beauty pageant.
Why we want to see it: Because the trailer is hysterical, and Carell is quickly becoming the king of droll character turns.

John Tucker Must Die
Director: Betty Thomas
Starring: Jesse Metcalfe, Ashanti, Sophia Bush
Release Date: July 28
The Story: Desperate Housewives' hot bushwhacker Metcalfe plays John Tucker, a womanizing high schooler who gets caught romancing three lovely coeds.
Why we want to see it: Six words: Jesse Metcalfe with his shirt off.

Miami Vice
Director: Michael Mann
Starring: Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Gong Li, Naomie Harris
Release Date: July 28
The Story: Miami cops Crockett (Farrell) and Tubbs (Foxx) go undercover to infiltrate the drug world in this big screen reworking of the mid-'80s TV phenomenon.
Why we want to see it: Mann and Foxx did such a smash-up job with evoking a similarly gritty feel in Collateral, so we can't wait to see what they do with this one. Plus, Colin Farrell is in it. Excuse us while we drool.

Queens
Director: Manuel Gomez Pereira
Starring: Marisa Paredes, Raul Garcia, Veronica Forque, Gustavo Salmeron, Carmen Maura, Daniel Hendler
Release Date: July 28
The Story: Five mothers cope with familial angst as their gay sons prepare to get hitched during Spain's first-ever gay wedding en masse.
Why we want to see it: Um, four words: Hot Latin men alert!

Quinceañera
Director: Wash Westmoreland, Richard Glatzer
Starring: Emily Rios, Jesse Garcia
Release Date: Aug. 4
The Story: A pregnant teen (Rios) is forced to take up with relatives—including her gay cousin (Garcia)—in L.A.'s Echo Park after she is tossed out of her house by her mother.
Why we want to see it: It won the Grand Jury Prize and Audience Awards at Sundance, but actually, we just want to see what award-winning gay porn director Westmoreland (aka The Hole's Wash West)—who wrote and directed with partner Glatzer—is up to now.

World Trade Center
Director: Oliver Stone
Starring: Nicholas Cage, Michael Peña, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Maria Bello
Release Date: Aug. 9
The Story: Hot on the tail of United 93 comes this 9/11-themed drama following the heroic rescue of real-life Port Authority cops John McLoughlin (Cage) and Will Jimeno (Peña).
Why we want to see it: Because the world is in need of true-life stories of inspiration now more than ever, and because it's got to be better than Stone's last pic, Alexander.

The Reaping
Director: Stephen Hopkins
Starring: Hilary Swank, David Morrissey
Release Date: Aug. 11
The Story: A debunker of religious “miracles” investigates a small Louisiana town that may or may not be cursed by plagues from the Book of Exodus.
Why we want to see it: Last year's The Skeleton Key left us hungry for more swampy, backwoods horror, and this supernatural thriller (which was filmed on location before and after Katrina) could be just the ticket.

The Night Listener
Director: Patrick Stettner
Starring: Robin Williams, Toni Collette, Rory Culkin, Sandra Oh, Bobby Cannavale
Release Date: Aug. 18
The Story: A gay radio show host (Williams) reeling from a recent breakup finds his life intertwined with those of a troubled woman (Collette) and her adoptive son-who may or may not be real.
Why we want to see it: It's based upon the eerily compelling page-turner by Tales of the City author Armistead Maupin (who co-wrote the screenplay with Stettner and his real-life ex, Terry Anderson), but this suspense drama is a far cry from sex in the '70s. Consider us excited.

The Illusionist
Director: Neil Burger
Starring: Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti, Jessica Biel, Rufus Sewell
Release Date: Aug. 18
The Story: In 1900 Vienna, a jealous prince (Sewell) orders the chief inspector to debunk the illusions of a brilliant magician (Norton). Biel plays the prince's fiancée, who has taken a liking to the magic man.
Why we want to see it: Norton is one of the most compelling actors of his generation and we're a sucker for the brilliant Giamatti. But we really just want to watch Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Biel stumble around in 19th century costumes and manage an accent. Deer in the headlights, anyone?

Factotum
Director: Bent Hamer
Starring: Matt Dillon, Lily Taylor, Fisher Stevens, Marisa Tomei
Release Date: Aug. 18
The Story: A struggling writer gets-and loses-several jobs and tries to fend off other distractions (women, drinking, gambling) while trying to make it in Los Angeles.
Why we want to see it: It's based on the wryly comic novel by Charles Bukowski, and it's got Dillon—hot off his Oscar nod for Crash.

Material Girls
Director: Martha Coolidge
Starring: Hilary Duff, Haylie Duff, Anjelica Huston, Brent Spiner, Lukas Hass, Colleen Camp
Release Date: Aug. 25
The Story: Sisters Hilary and Haylie play siblings Tanzie and Persia Marchetta, who are forced to see how the other half lives when they lose all their money.
Why we want to see it: We don't. We just wanted to see if you were still paying attention.