By Karen Ocamb

In 1981, gay artists were silent as a new mysterious illness insidiously snatched away their friends and shocked the core of their being. No artistic expression could even remotely resemble the ninth circle of hell they were experiencing.

That began to change in 1984 with plays like Warren, written by Rebecca Ranson and Night Sweat by the provocative Robert Chesley. In San Francisco, Theatre Rhinoceros produced The A.I.D.S. Show. In March 1985, William Hoffman's play As Is debuted off-Broadway at the Circle Repertory; Larry Kramer's play, The Normal Heart debuted at the Public Theater in April.

It wasn't until the death of movie star Rock Hudson on Oct. 2, 1985, that the general public took notice of the AIDS epidemic. NBC's airing of An Early Frost on Nov. 11 won its time slot, but the TV movie starring Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara, and Aidan Quinn lost the network $500,000 because of squeamish advertisers.

In July 1986, Showtime aired Hoffman's As Is, which permitted episodic TV and feature films to tackle the subject. On Dec. 19, 1988, ABC aired The Ryan White Story, starring Lukas Haas as the Indiana hemophiliac teenager who became an AIDS hero. White, who had a cameo in the film, died shortly after the movie aired. Judith Light, who played his mother, Jeanne, said the role inspired her to become an ardent AIDS activist. Introducing a re-broadcast, Light said, "I will forever miss him. His courage inspired us; his sheer [presence] warmed us, and his grace made our troubles insignificant. Ryan always considered making this movie the highlight of his life."

Feature films also started dealing with AIDS -- but mostly as independent films, such as Parting Glances (1986) with Steve Buscemi or allegories such as The Fly (1986). Longtime Companion in 1990, which garnered Bruce Davison an Oscar nomination, was considered one of the first gay/AIDS themed films "accessible" to mainstream audiences. Davison later said he based his performance on Paul Monette's harrowing AIDS memoir, Borrowed Time. No other film touched mainstream Americans until 1993 when Tom Hanks played a lawyer dying of AIDS in Philadelphia, a portrayal which won Hanks an Oscar. Bruce Springsteen also won an Academy Award for his haunting song, Streets of Philadelphia.

By 1987, artists were again finding their voice. Love Don't Need a Reason, written by Peter Allen (who died of AIDS in 1992), Michael Callen, and Marsha Malemet became an AIDS anthem, with Callen singing the moving song at every event, including the 1993 March on Washington, until his death in December 1993. Madonna also emerged as an AIDS activist, promoting "safer sex" at concerts and fund-raisers.

Meanwhile Larry Kramer co-founded ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) and a subcommittee started generating art for publicity and AIDS awareness, including the iconic Silence=Death. Keith Haring (who died in 1990) addressed AIDS in his public art. Equity Fights AIDS, founded in October 1987, raised money for The Actors' Fund's AIDS Initiative to provide direct assistance to entertainment industry professionals and performing artists. (In May 1992 the group became Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.) In 1991 Visual AIDS created the red ribbon, an international symbol for solidarity with people with AIDS.

But it was in small, independent theatrical venues such as Tim Miller's Highways Performance Space in Santa Monica where the hard work of confronting queer AIDS was embraced. Meanwhile, pretty boy actor Michael Kearns transformed into an artist, directing and acting in such frank gritty naked plays as Chesley's Jerker in 1986 and later writing his own plays, including the ineffable "intimacies." Audiences emerged shaken, angrily inspired, yet with a shared common language and a transforming desire to be compassionate.

In 1984, Kearns and playwright James Carroll Picket (Queen of Angels) formed Artists Confronting AIDS. "We were part of Highways' response to AIDS from their very beginning," says Kearns, who recently won a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Robert Chesley Foundation.

"Pickett and I created Artists Confronting AIDS based on the fact that there was no immediate artistic response," says Kearns. "AIDS was murky and our responses were often too incoherent to result in anything artistically viable. AIDS/US (1985) was one of the first clear artistic depictions of AIDS. It was the simplest way to approach the subject: real people relating their stories in front of a live audience. This was when people, calling for their reservations, asked if they could catch the disease by being in the theater with cast members who were infected. The experience was shattering and attracted a huge audience, including a slew of celebrities: Marianne Williamson, Gov. Jerry Brown, and Shirley MacLaine. People sobbed -- there were times when the crying drowned out what the people on stage were saying.

"I had never considered myself an artist," says Kearns, who is HIV positive. "I was an actor and journalist and, like so many other gay men/boys at the beginning of AIDS, had no idea how to understand the most cataclysmic thing that had ever happened in our lives. I figured I'd use what I had -- my writing and acting and entrepreneurial skills -- to navigate all the emotional upheaval I was experiencing. An artist was born. Life was so dramatic that it screamed to be put on the stage in order to better understand it, deal with it, and (perhaps most importantly) not deny it. For me, it was either finding an outlet for all my anger and fear and sadness and hopelessness or shoot myself in the head. The theater saved many of us -- not from infection but from destruction. AIDS taught me -- as an artist and, more importantly, a person -- all that I really know about being human."

Michael Kearns is producing a reading of the names of people who have died of AIDS, June 5, from 7-8 p.m. in the Meditation Garden at the Hollywood Sunset Free Clinic, 3224 W. Sunset Blvd. in Silver Lake. (Names can be sent to mkla@aol.com). He is also producing an impressive line up of plays during Gay Pride Month at his Space at Fountain's End, including The Tina Dance on June 25 with a cast of real people telling their stories about using crystal meth. Call (323) 856-6168 or visit www.michaelkearns.net for more info.